On Road Off Road
by Samwise Baggins
Summary: The Dukes get in a race for their lives when someone starts trying to eliminate contenders… and I do mean eliminate.
1. Registering Surprises

Title: Registering Surprises

Author: Sam  
Series: On-Road-Off-Road 1 of ?

Rating: T: sexual innuendoes, some language, minor violence  
Setting: Hazzard County

Characters Introduced: Bo, Luke, Daisy, Roscoe, Enos, Boss, Jesse, Cooter, Emmy-Lou and Elmer.

Summary: The Dukes get in a race for their lives when someone starts trying to eliminate contenders… and I do mean eliminate.

Spoiler: Well, generally random episodes in the series, but mostly I give a few things away about the episode with the Hazzard County Derby in it (Luke's Love Story).

Category: Fantasy, General

Disclaimer: Dukes of Hazzard is a trademark of Warner Brothers. I am in no way connected with these people, and I do not claim ownership to these characters, lands, or names. I have borrowed them to share a story... and most likely not a story any of them would have written had they had the time or no. I am making no money from this, and it is just for my entertainment, and that of free entertainment to a select group of friends. Thank You.

Distribution: Please ask first?

Note: Emmy-Beth is my own creation, but she is not based on anyone I know. I figured we needed another Duke to show up. She is a distant cousin of Jesse's wife, so she's only a Duke by marriage, not that it bothers the Dukes any. Elmer Jenks is also my creation, as I needed a ringer for Boss.

Feedback: Please? I love comments.

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Balladeer: Bo and Luke Duke are cousins, and their main interests are cars and girls, in either order, it makes no never-mind any way ya look at it. But they're good boys at heart. Which is why Bo, with his cousin Luke, is on the wrong side of the law, 'cause in Hazzard County, the law's crookeder than a three dollar bill.

And together, the Duke boys're enough to turn anyone's head, whether it be a pretty gal lookin' for a good time or Sheriff Roscoe Coltran lookin' to put the boys behind bars for good. There's only been one cage the Duke boys ain't managed to escape from, and they was let out on account of their Uncle Jesse makin' a deal with the United States government… but that there's another tale for another day.

What we's lookin' at here is the first ever Annual Hazzard County On-Road-Off-Road Race, kinda like the Hazzard County Derby but nastier, if'n that's possible. There ain't no four-person limited field, like the Derby, neither, bein' anyone could enter the race for the cash prize, if'n you pay a registration fee. Boss Hogg's done made two more qualifiers, though: you gotta be a citizen of Hazzard County to drive an car in the race, and you can't be workin' the professional circuit, just the amateur if'n you's even in racin', which most folks in Hazzard are. And the final judge of who could race and who won at the end? Well, none other than Boss Hogg himself, of course. That means there's most 'suredly a ringer to make sure Boss is the one that wins. But, I'm willin' to bet my Aunt Fanny's teeth that them Duke Boys'll find a way to spoil Boss' plans.

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"Well, just face it, Luke. The better driver's gonna win this here race. Shame you're only gonna be settin' back here at the finish line just wishin' it was you." Bo Duke couldn't resist a little picking at his cousin Luke, especially as he'd won the right, fair and square, to race their stockcar, the General Lee, in the Hazzard County On-Road-Off-Road Race… he'd hit more targets in archery practice, as usual. The good-looking, tall blond was in his early twenties, the prime of life, though most times he still acted like he was barely seventeen.

Shorter, stockier, and a bit more mature was Bo's cousin, Luke Duke. He had dark looks balancing Bo's fair ones. And his more sensible, reasonable approach could often be counted on to get them out of trouble… the trouble Bo was most often getting them into. Luke didn't usually mind, though. He loved his cousin as close as any two brothers could get, so he took the licks along with the good times. At that particular time he chose to ignore his cousin's teasing, wanting to enjoy the race even if he wasn't gonna be the one driving. But as Bo kept gloating, Luke finally looked up from where he was leaning in under the General's hood and shot back, "If'n you don't stop flappin' your gums, Bo, and hurry over to register with Enos, you ain't gonna be racin' at all."

It worked. His cousin shut his mouth and headed over to the large table set up just to the left of the door to Boss' bar, the Boar's Nest. As he spoke to the honest, young police deputy, Enos, paid the fee the boys'd got together, and filled out the registration forms, Luke shook his head and ducked back under the hood. Sometimes he wondered if his cousin had the sense of a baby hound, the way he needed looking after all the time. In fact, Luke had begun to think it was a good thing he'd come back from the Marines after his first tour; he was certainly needed around the farm.

As Bo walked back towards the General Lee, Luke lowered the hood, finished with the last minute checks before the race. He wiped his hands on an old cloth, turning towards his cousin with a grin. "Well, he's all ready to…" Luke's comment faded off as he, and everyone else, watched a sleek black mustang with white running trim pull up.

Luke whistled low, looking almost dazed. "Ain't she a beauty?"

"Which one? The car or the girl drivin' her?" Bo's grin was wide as he slapped a hand on Luke's back. He didn't remove his eyes, however, from the sight of the small figure sliding from her car.

The woman was nicely rounded, despite her short stature, and her figure wasn't even hidden by the gray pit-suit she wore. She wasn't model thin, having more bust, hip, and butt than advertisers seemed to approve of, but she was pretty nonetheless. With auburn curls trailing halfway down her back and large gray eyes, the woman drew the attention of every man there, married or not. Fortunately, she ignored them, walking directly over to Enos… and earning a little less animosity from the womenfolk present.

That didn't stop the Duke boys from ogling her, though. Enos, too, was all over eager clumsiness to assist the pretty stranger. He dropped first the registration forms, then a glass of water he tried to offer her, soaking half the forms already filed. Finally, with a shake of her head, she leaned over and whispered something that made him blush red all over and start to stammer.

Bo yelped in delight. "I think she's flirting with Enos!" Coming around the far side of the General Lee, Cousin Daisy looked intrigued, glancing over to the registration table. "Who is she?"

Luke shook his head. "Don't know. She's familiar, but I don't recognize her. Maybe someone we knew when we was small?" His eyes seemed to follow the woman's every movement, which also amused Bo to no end.

"Well, I'm gonna find out, Cousin." Bo started to move towards the registration table, but was stopped by the woman turning towards the crowd. She looked serious as all get out, too.

"Anyone here know how ta handle a race car?" She had one small hand still resting on the table while she was turned towards the crowd. Enos, nearby, looked extremely embarrassed.

Cooter stepped out of the crowd, grinning ear to ear. "Sure, that's why we're here for a race. Y'all new to Hazzard, Ma'am?" He was dressed in his typical, old, greasy way.

The woman actually flashed Cooter a smile, which earned her a notch of respect in Luke's eyes, at least. She hadn't snubbed the mechanic for his down country roots. Instead, she kept her voice raised so everyone could hear, but looked straight at Cooter. "Seems I'm not allowed to drive this race, so I need someone local to drive for me. I'll split the winnin's fifty-fifty, fair deal: my car, local driver, oughta win."

People looked at each other, glancing covetously at the car. Before anyone else could volunteer, though, Luke, cloth still in hand, stepped forward and nodded. "I'll drive for you, Ma'am. Name's Luke Duke."

She turned her attention on Luke and smiled, stepping to his side quickly enough to startle some people with her speed. "Name's…"

Boss, with a bullhorn, unintentionally covered up whatever she said. "All right, everyone gather close. This is the last chance to enter the Annual Hazzard County On-Road-Off-Road Race to win a five hundred dollar prize. So, anyone that needs to enter, come to the table and Deputy Enos will sign you up for a small registration fee. Roscoe, start checkin' the cars for anythin' they's not s'posed ta have." Boss lowered the bullhorn and signaled his Sheriff to start looking for nitro or anything else that might illegally help the racers steal a win.

Roscoe chose to start with the General Lee, naturally hoping to find something. Bo popped the hood and the trunk and let the man do his job; but he kept an eagle eye on the police officer, making sure the man didn't _add_ anything illegal, either. When that search was done, Roscoe was disappointed but eagerly moved on to the Dixie, Daisy's jeep. Maybe, the Dukes had tried to fool him by having Daisy enter against Bo, then souped up her car illegally so she'd win and they could split the winnings. At least, that was the way Roscoe was thinking.

Letting Daisy worry about her own vehicle, Bo sidled closer to the Mustang owner, smiling and doing his best to attract the pretty stranger. "I'm Bo Duke. How long ya gonna be in Hazzard?"

She turned a smile up at him, the look in her eyes making Bo feel like he'd missed some sort of joke, "Long as it takes, Bo." The name rolled off her tongue comfortably, as if she'd known him her whole life, which made him feel a bit odd. "I came to visit my cousins, but this here race distracted me first."

"And do you find _me_ distractin'?" He leaned closer, smiling wider.

With a shake of her head, she put a hand to his chest and pushed back, surprising him with her strength. "Bo, I ain't int'rested in you that way, so let's just keep it friendly, 'stead of me havin' to get mad and leave right after the race."

He took the hint and stepped back but kept smiling at her. After all, Bo was a born flirt, not too serious about any one girl. If she didn't want to flirt back, that wasn't a problem to him. Or, at least, that's what he told himself; but a man could only resist a challenge so far. Her refusal really sparked his further interest, though Bo was well-mannered enough to keep that to himself.

Then his curiosity got the better of him. "So, why was ya flirtin' with Enos? You like police?" He was smilin' still, his tone friendly and casual, though he really did want to know what sparked her.

Rolling gray eyes, she shook her head. "Is that all you ever think about, Bo Duke? I thought you'd a growed up by now."

Daisy shook her head at her cousin's attempts and watched as Roscoe headed over to check out first Enos's stockcar then the Mustang. By the time the Sheriff had moved on to check Cooter's car, Luke was done registering and Bo had tried and been rebuffed yet again, without finding out if the redhead preferred men of the law. As Luke walked towards them, the woman turned her head, jerking her chin up at an angle in such a way as to trigger both Duke cousins' memories.

"Beth…" Luke's whisper was unheard, drowned out by Bo's happy yell of "Emmy-Beth!" as he suddenly swung the woman up in his arms and spun her around.

Bo put Emmy-Beth down when she pounded on his chest with one small fist, glaring up at him. "Whoo-ee!" He laughed down at the five-foot-nothing woman. "You always did look like an angry kitten when you was mad!"

"An' I always tol' you never to fling me 'round like a sack of flour, Bo Duke!" She smoothed out her pit-suit and glared at the much taller man. "Now ya might try ta get it through you're thick head that you ain't my style!" She turned her back on his laughter, nodding absently to the equally laughing Daisy as she strode purposefully towards Luke. "Heya, Luke, come check out the 'stang."

The dark-haired man nodded, smiling at the woman and heading towards her black Mustang, ignoring Bo's amusement.

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Balladeer: No I know why she's so familiar; she's Bethany Emmaline Standish, a cousin two or three times removed from Uncle Jesse's wife, rest her soul. Emmy-Beth, as most of the county calls her, has been in and out of the Duke farm repeatedly while growing up. She never stays more than a month at a shot, since her father lives on the other side of Hazzard and ain't too fond of his wife's Duke relatives. Emmy-Beth normally shows up when he father's treating her bad and she needs a place to lay low and heal up from his mean streak. Then, she come less and less, until she finally disappeared all together. In fact, last time anyone seen her around was the day she and Luke graduated high school. Wonder what brought her breezin' into Hazzard all a sudden.

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Luke couldn't help but think how much Emmy Beth had changed in seven years. Though, thinking about it, there was also the question of why she wasn't allowed to drive the race; Emmy-Beth had been born and bred in Hazzard County.

Cooter, just as pleased as the Dukes that Emmy-Beth had returned from parts unknown, he'd dated her a bit in high school, headed towards the woman intent on greeting her properly. He'd always liked the girl and they had parted on good terms when they'd split up. For a moment, he even wondered if she'd be willing to strike up a relationship again.

As the same time, Daisy turned her smile up to Bo. "Now I know why she didn't question him when Luke said he could drive. Cousin Emmy-Beth knows he's one of the best drivers around."

A stream of minor curses from Roscoe drew everyone's attention to where he was checking a dull red stockcar on the other side of the Mustang.

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Balladeer: Uh, oh. That there car belongs to a man by the name o' Elmer Jenks. He's so shady even Boss Hogg don't have much to do with him. One thing y'all can count on 'bout ole Elmer; he'll take any cheap dirty job offered, long as he gets to play dirtier than the law. If'n he's been 'lowed to race, then I'm willin' to bet that he's Boss' ringer. That there, folks, means the Dukes are in for a dangerous race. Makes me glad Boss was gentlemanly 'nough to make sure Emmy-Beth weren't allowed in, but I sure am worried 'bout our Daisy.

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As the crowd could see, the Sheriff was having trouble getting the car's hood up. With a shake of her head, patting Luke's arm and quickly strolling over to the duo, Emmy-Beth squatted down to inspect the rusty latch, not in the least bothered about getting involved.

Bo grinned and walked over to Luke. "She growed up real fine."

Luke nodded, finally slipping the old grease rag absently into a back pocket of his jeans. "Yeah, she did." Luke turned towards the Mustang, starting his own inspection, wanting to be at least a little familiar with the car he'd be racing in. "But I get the feelin' she don't think you growed up, Bo." He never found out how his cousin would have retaliated to the remark.

At that moment, jimmying the latch into the proper position with a small screwdriver, Emmy-Beth finally got Elmer's hood open. As she stood, she raised the hood, but a loud explosion rocked the entire car, sending the woman staggering back, screaming.

Luke reacted as quickly as he'd been trained to years before, taking Emmy-Beth to the ground and covering her with his body to prevent further injury from explosions. Bo, too, had thrown himself on the ground, having too much experience with explosives to take chances. The flash had been very bright, very loud, and very short, leaving only smoke behind. However, most people weren't looking at that; they were too concerned about Emmy-Beth. People started crowding around, while Roscoe yelled for calm and Enos came charging around the table to lend whet help he could. Fortunately, nobody else had been injured, even though Elmer and the Sheriff had been standing just behind Emmy-Beth.

It was into that chaos that Uncle Jesse pulled up in his beat up white pickup truck.

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Balladeer: Now didn't I tell y'all that Elmer wouldn't play fair?

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Cooter grabbed Elmer, anger crossing his normally jovial face. Anyone that hurt a friend of his found himself on Cooter's very rare bad side. And Elmer had just made top of the list with whatever had happened under the hood of his car. He forced Elmer against the side of the Mustang, too incensed to even threaten him.

Jesse jumped from his truck and hurried over, trying to take in all the action. It was his voice, loud and clear and demanding, that broke through the confusion and brought instant order to chaos. "Everyone step back and let them have some air. Now, what's goin' on, Daisy?" He had seen her standing worriedly next to the General Lee, apparently unhurt, so that was who he asked for an update. Meanwhile, he went to go check on the boys.

His worry was instantly relieved as Bo got to his feet and Luke pushed to his hands and knees, revealing the woman below him. The young man checked on her, worried that her screams had stopped completely. Daisy's voice was shaky as she called out, "Something in Elmer Jenks' car blew up an' Emmy-Beth's been hurt, Uncle Jesse." The older man nodded and strode quickly to his eldest nephew, helping him to his feet. Luke came up carrying an unconscious Emmy-Beth. They hurried her to Jesse's truck while Roscoe turned on Elmer to start reading him his rights.

Boss interrupted at last, coming out from behind the flimsy safety of the registration table. "Now, Roscoe, before you go arrestin' anyone, you should check that car. Make sure it weren't no accident first."

The Dukes were unanimously angered by this blatant show of favoritism. After all, a car doesn't open up with an explosion unless the something gets damaged or it's rigged. Anyone standing near enough could see that Elmer's car was fine. That left one conclusion, and it was almost obvious that since Emmy-Beth was a Duke, even if her Daddy had only married into it, she wasn't going to get a fair hearing. Young voices rose in protest as Jesse slid behind his wheel and tore off, having no choice but to let the younger Dukes defend their cousin; he had to get the girl to a doctor.

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Balladeer: That there Boss Hogg makes me wanna spit! Well, the Dukes get ignored and Elmer gets cleared. The race starts, with all three cousins in the race and determined not to let Elmer win that prize; they was gonna look out for each other and try to take him out as soon as possible so as no one else gets hurt. Now, if'n you thought it was bad a'fore, you're just gonna love what happens next. Don't y'all go to the fridge now, hear?

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Continued in Chapter Two: Actions, Reactions  



	2. Actions, Reactions

Title: Actions, Reactions

Author: Sam  
Series: On-Road-Off-Road 2 of ?

Note: My Beta, Merrianna, noted that I forgot to describe Elmer, or refer to Emmy-Beth's injuries, so please note that I make up for that in this chapter. Thank you.

Second Note: Hmmm, the _Dukes of Hazzard_ Web Page lists **Doc Appleby** (which I could swear was the name of the doctor from _Little House on the Prairie_) as the official Hazzard doctor. However, while watching the episode _Double Sting_ the other day, I heard one of the Dukes clearly state that his name was **Doc Petticore**. Thus, that is the name I will be using. Thank you.

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Balladeer: I bet y'all're wonderin' what's happenin' with Emmy-Beth. Well, Jesse got her to ole Doc Petticore and it turns out she's got flash burns real bad. Fact is, ole Doc don't think she'll be able to see no more, and that done made even Uncle Jesse mad. When Jesse sees somethin' not right, he up and tries to fix it, and that's just what he aims to do about Emmy-Beth. Looks like he won't be lettin' JD get away with callin' that explosion an accident. Boss might rethink workin' with Elmer again once this race is over with, 'cause as the cars started the race, it was obvious to more'n just them Dukes that Elmer's car was runnin' fine. And that meant other folks would back Jesse when it came right down to it.

For his part, Elmer was stayin' up with the head of the pack. Course, that don't mean the others don't got no chance. This here's an on road _and_ an off road race. Meanin' that them stockcars got an advantage on the roads, but Daisy an' her Dixie got an advantage in the rest o' the course. Unless, o' course, Elmer finds a way to knock out their advantages a'fore they done knocked him outta the race.

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Elmer Jenks was an attractive man, if not for his ever-present attitude. He had wavy black hair that was often windswept and green eyes set in a narrow face, off-setting his rather muscular, tall frame. He was a man any woman would consider a catch, if she was only going for looks. The problem was, he tended to believe he was superior to everyone else, and it showed in the way he moved and in the condescending air he always had. In fact the faults were more obvious than the favors during a race, as his helmet covered his features, but his mouth still held that sneer. His driving style, too, bespoke a man who was selfish and self-righteous. Elmer was using every nasty trick he could think up to try to bump and weave his way towards the front of the pack.

As it stood for the moment, Bo was in the lead, with Enos and Daisy a few cars behind. Luke was even further back, but Cooter, like Elmer, was pulling up quick, taking risks he probably would have been better to save for later.

It seemed his anger over Emmy-Beth was clouding what little good judgement the mechanic possessed. In fact, he took every opportunity to slam Elmer's stockcar extremely hard, nearly pushing him into a line of trees or down a steep incline over and over. Finally Cooter pulled ahead, laughing in his near maniacal way, and it became very evident that he'd damaged the other man's car, ripping the fender half off and causing it to stick out at a dangerous angle on the passenger side.

As if taking a cue from Cooter, anyone who tried to pass Elmer gave him a good hard sideswipe or rammed him from behind. That didn't deter the man in the old red stockcar. He was playing just as dirty, making the race look like a fast paced demolition derby; he'd totaled two stockcars already. The way he was grinding everyone up, his car couldn't possibly last.

Looking back briefly, Bo let out a satisfied yell, sure the man would be out of the race soon.

Surprisingly, however, Elmer and his car proved more resilient than anyone had thought. Elmer finally gave up on trading blows and, despite the low undercarriage of his stockcar and the damage it had sustained so far, managed to drive up the hillside on the left, brush and rocks scraping underneath with an eerie screeching noise. He actually was able to pull ahead of the majority of other racecars, ignoring the curses or threats thrown his way, even passing the surprised Daisy before she could use her jeep to advantage. It was insane, as Elmer was risking damaging his own car too badly to be able to finish later.

As he came even with the General, Elmer suddenly veered hard, slamming downwards into Bo's driver side and causing the younger man to swerve to avoid locking with that ripped fender on the other vehicle. Taking advantage of the ground gain, and with several more hard slams, Elmer managed to push Bo towards the right-hand hillside. It slanted steeply down towards trees and flood-swept boulders lining a very steep, very stony ravine.

Bo saw the danger and turned shocked blue eyes towards the other driver. A plunge like that might do more than damage the General Lee… it could actually kill him! Bo fought back, trying to force Elmer up the left-hand hill, but gravity and the weight of both speeding vehicles were proving a disadvantage. He'd have to slow down; there was no choice. Glancing in his side mirror, Bo shook his head, gripping the wheel tighter. If he slowed, Cooter would slam right into him; the other man was too intent on watching Elmer to notice just how close to Bo's rear he was, and at their speeds, Cooter'd be the one killed. Bo had to think of another way around Elmer.

That momentary distraction was all Elmer had needed. He swiftly veered into Bo's driver's door again, forcing the young man over the side. A couple of cars back, Daisy screamed in reaction as the General Lee seemed to take a graceful leap over rocky ground, slamming hard into the unyielding ravine. If Bo's shocks weren't destroyed, it would be a miracle. As it was, the General's front end smashed hard, making it almost certain he wouldn't be rejoining the race.

Before even sliding from the wreck, Bo grabbed his CB handset and called out, "Don't stop! I'm fine! Just get him!"

Shock coursed through the law enforcement officer as he passed the scene of the accident. Everything in him screamed to stop and help Bo, but the message on the CB instructed otherwise. If Bo really was okay, Enos could do more trying to keep Elmer from hurting… or even killing… the other competitors in the race. First Emmy-Beth, then Bo Duke… Enos was determined to bring Elmer to justice. His eyes narrowed as he swerved around a fourth wrecked car, glancing over to see the driver waving him on. It seemed like everyone was of a single mind in that race: get Elmer Jenks before he really kills someone.

Luke's heart stopped for a beat or two as he saw the flash of orange jump over the cliff. It started again, but on a fast, irregular beat, when he realized that there was only one orange car in the race: the General Lee. Luke had deliberately hung back in the race, avoiding Elmer in order to keep Emmy-Beth's Mustang in good enough shape to compete all the way through; it'd have enough troubles with the off-road portion of the race without having been beaten to scrap beforehand. Now, last in line up the steep incline, Luke had a clear view of the other cars and the damage being wrought. The other two… 'Make that three' Luke mentally corrected as he watched Enos pass a car stalled from the heavy front-end damage Elmer had inflicted on it… had at least stay on the road. Bo had been the only one forced off the road into almost certain injury.

Hearing his cousin's voice come over the CB nearly caused Luke's heart to skip again. Thank the Lord almighty! Bo sounded madder than a snake, but he had said he'd be fine. That didn't mean his cousin was unhurt, but it was enough to keep the race going. Luke slowed, anyway, and scanned the side of the cliff for Bo's blond head. He could see the man crawling up the side, no sign of blood with the quick glance he'd gotten, so Luke sped up once more, intent on finishing that race and taking the wind out of Elmer's sails.

The youngest Duke cousin sighed in frustration as the roar of the race passed by, everyone apparently taking him at his word. As Bo climbed painfully out of the wreckage and made his slow way back up to the road, he was madder than all get out. To have been in the lead and taken out so quickly was humiliating to say the least. He could only hope the others fared better. He limped back down the road they'd traveled, looking for the pace car and help.

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Balladeer: Well that was quick. We already lost four, and that weren't no safe glide Bo got into neither. Looks like it'll take a lot to fix the ole General this time. It seems Elmer means to win this here race even if it kills someone. And it looks like Cooter's next on his list, that polecat… uh, Elmer, not Cooter.

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Daisy was in the top six, though she wasn't quite in the lead. She knew she could make it up once they got around the next corner, though. Then the race would be on rougher ground, not road, and a few of those fast stockcars would have to slow down to stay in control. She had to push the memory of Bo's accident from her mind, taking to heart his assurance that he was fine. She couldn't let Elmer near anyone else. The fact that he was in second, with Cooter in the lead, worried Daisy. She didn't trust the man in the red car to be satisfied with simply winning; he was more likely to cause an accident by throwing some sort of obstacle in the way of the others.

As the cars rounded the curve, leaving actual roads, two more stockcars were forced to drop back, making Daisy fourth in the line up. She grinned, enjoying the feel of the wind for a second, before bringing her mind back to the problem at hand: stopping Elmer without any more injuries. The man couldn't exactly be mentally stable; anything he did may have been geared at hurting someone else, but he apparently spared no thought to his own safety either… much like Cooter at the moment in fact.

With a frown, as sudden as her pretty smile from a moment before, the woman urged her jeep closer to the two lead cars. She watched, throat tight, as Elmer's red car suddenly slammed into Cooter's green one. Did she see sparks? Determination solidified as Daisy watched Elmer slam Cooter again forcing the man further into the rougher ground.

She didn't let the opening pass, shifting into high gear and racing to fill the gap her friend had left behind. Avoiding her opponent's traditional distraction techniques, Daisy actually managed to pull ahead. Throwing a determined glance at Elmer just behind the Dixie, Daisy intentionally swerved every time he tried to pass. She wouldn't let him get in any more nasty tricks on the rest of the pack leaders.

Elmer tried, again and again, to get around her. He also tried speeding up to slam into her, but the rough terrain was proving difficult for his car, especially after the amount of destruction he'd caused the undercarriage during his attack on Bo. There seemed to be no leeway as long as Daisy held the lead. With the pond and its slippery gravel edges coming up just ahead, it would be even more hazardous for the stockcar.

Somehow, Elmer managed to neutralize the jeep's advantage on the wet gravel around the large pond, though. An incendiary flare tossed from the stockcar and landing in her jeep startled Daisy. She swerved and skidded sideways into the water before she could recover. It was all she could do to stop the jeep from going deep enough to flood the engine. Enraged, she stood and watched as Elmer actually had the nerve to wave back at her while he sped off. It was only a small comfort to see several other cars were close on his tail: Cooter followed closely by Enos with Luke in the rear of the pack. No one stopped, as they could all see she was fine.

Sighing in disgust, Daisy slid into the cold water lapping around her seat. She started working on getting the jeep out of the water so she could check on the damage any submerged rocks or debris might have caused. Hopefully she could make up the lost time before Elmer had the chance to damage anyone else.

---

Balladeer: And here I thought he was a goin' for ole Cooter! I sure am glad Daisy ain't been hurt.

---

Bo heard a car coming and looked up in surprise. This was a 'closed circuit' race, even if it was on public roads and open ground. The pace car had already passed him by, refusing to stop and pick him up, causing Bo to have to continue limping back towards the Boar's Nest. The car he heard, however, was coming from the opposite direction… the one behind him, where the race had gone.

Slowly, the blond turned and looked up the hill he'd left behind. Over the top came the last thing he expected to see: Daisy's jeep. Right away Bo could tell something was wrong with the Dixie, however, besides the streaks of mud and water. The car didn't sound right, and it kept fighting to the right; the alignment had been pretty screwed up in whatever'd happened to her. As the Dixie halted next to him, Daisy signaled with her head towards the passenger side.

"Hop in, Bo. We're goin' to the Boar's Nest an' tell Boss Hogg what's been goin' on."

"He ain't gonna do nothin', Daisy," Bo protested as he painfully climbed into the high jeep. "Sure as the sun goes down, Elmer's workin' for Boss."

Daisy nodded in agreement to that, but grimly said, "Yeah, but he don't want Enos hurt… and Enos was near run into the stone wall at the end of the pond road. I seen the whole thing sitting in the pond." Daisy threw her jeep into gear and started it back down the road, fighting the misalignment the entire way back to the Boar's Nest. Neither cousin spoke, listening closely to the still working CB, trying to hear if anyone else put out a holler for help.

As they arrived a short time later, the Dixie still valiantly fighting, even if it was against Daisy and not the race, Jesse's pickup pulled into the parking lot. His passenger was leaning heavily against him, her hands, arms, and face heavily bandaged. Jesse helped his cousin from the truck as gently as he could, moving to get her situated in the truck bed on an old picnic blanket. Jesse turned at the sound of Boss' bullhorn.

"The Dixie is disqualified from the race on account of coming 'round the starting line, 'stead of the finish line, which is cheatin'."

Daisy rolled her eyes. She slid from her jeep, her short-shorts soaked so they clung closer than a second skin, looking more painted on than anything else. "Boss Hogg, I ain't tryin' to cheat. I dropped outta the race."

Glee lit the heavy-set man's eyes and a wide grin spread across his pudgy face. "Oh, well, that there's a different matter. You don't get your registration fee back for droppin' out, _Miss_ Daisy." He stressed the 'Miss' just to sound over-polite. An' Bo Duke can't go finishin' the race in the Dixie."

Wincing in pain as he landed on his sore ankle, Bo glanced over and frowned. "Boss Hogg, I ain't fixin' to cheat, neither!" He gripped the side bar on the Dixie, but the sudden anger raging through him started to ease again as Jesse's incensed voice came to the cousins' defense.

"J.D., Bo an' Daisy dropped outta the race. If'n I were you, I'd be checkin' into why two competitors returned in one battered vehicle, instead of casting stones."

"Yeah, Elmer Jenks drove me off a cliff!" Bo picked up the injured foot, leaning on the jeep for support. "An' he drove three other cars into the ground!" Their drivers're still hotfootin' it down that there road!"

Daisy's voice chimed in, almost covering Bo's, "An' he drove me into the pond, and nearly drove Enos into a stone wall!"

"Now, now," Boss prepared to soothe their injured feelings when his deputy's name was mentioned. He frowned. Enos was a first rate dipstick, but that didn't mean he wanted the man injured. After all, there was paperwork and fees if an officer of the force were injured. "Enos hit a wall?"

Bo gave a disgusted look at the man in the white linen suit. "Yeah, thought that'd get yer attention, Boss."

"No, he made it by a whisker, but that don't mean Elmer Jenks shouldn't be pulled from the race for trying to kill everyone!" Daisy's voice rose higher in indignation, and Uncle Jesse had to slip an arm around her to try to control the woman. He guided his niece towards an empty farmer's wooden two-wheel cart, slanted against the ground at an angle. Whispering to the woman, he interrupted two more attempts at reasoning with Boss Hogg. Finally, the pair sat on the cart, balancing against the angle so as to not disturb it and send themselves flying to the ground.

Just as disgusted with Boss' deliberate ignorance of Elmer's nastier habits, Bo limped to the pickup, intent on lying in the back. He assured Uncle Jesse, and several other people, that he'd be fine. When he pulled himself painfully up into the truck bed, though, his frown deepened. The sight of his injured cousin made him turn a heated glare on the unsuspecting back of Boss Hogg. If Bo Duke was the type to do violence, he'd have been raising holy hell right about then.

Only Emmy-Beth's pin-filled voice stopped him. "That you, Bo Duke?"

"Yeah, how'd you know?" He moved carefully through the truck bed to sit on the top of the cab instead, giving the woman the room she apparently needed. Her injuries looked much worse than his own.

"I could smell you." The laughter in her strong voice eased some of his tension, and the blond man laughed in return. "To me, you always smelled like car grease and hay fields."

Bo grinned wider, seeing a glimmer of hope for his suite. "So, you know'd what I smelled like?"

"Sure," Emmy-Beth's voice was a bit muffled behind her bandages. Pain was laced through every word, but still, a Duke's spirit wasn't easily broken. "It was the nicest thing about you."

Daisy laughed as Jesse chucked from the cart next to the truck. Bo looked surprised for a moment, then grinned as he caught the implied insult, and the laughter underneath. Emmy-Beth was teasing him… that was a very good sign. True to form, Bo continued lightly flirting with the woman, letting himself be thoroughly distracted from the fact that Elmer was out there trying to kill his cousin and two close friends. Bo Duke could get distracted from his own execution by a pretty lass.

---

Balladeer: Now don't that just beat all? Luke, Cooter, and Enos are still in the race against Elmer. Bo and Daisy are fine, even though they were knocked out o' the race at the beginnin'. And Emmy-Beth's hurt, but it seems she'll be okay. But I don't trust that Elmer Jenks. I just know he's a-gonna try somethin' low down on the boys. I feel it in my bones. Don't go way now, here?

Continued in Chapter Three: Finish Line an' Bust


	3. Finish Line an' Bust

Title: Finish Line an' Bust

Author: Sam

Series: On-Road-Off-Road 3 of ?

Note: Here it is, finally finished!

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Balladeer: I wonder what Daisy means about Enos's near accident. We better go check.

-----

Enos rarely got angry. When he did let his emotions rise, he stayed in calm control, unless, of course, Daisy Duke was involved; he'd always been in love with the prettiest Duke. Seeing her Dixie in the pond as he raced around the corner, Enos felt a sudden surge of fear. The sight of her standing in the jeep, mad as all get out, turned his fear to relief then anger… especially as Elmer, the man apparently uncaring of the damage he'd left in his wake, was pulling further ahead. The anger kicked up into high gear just a few seconds later as the image of the General Lee flying over the cliff-side resurfaced in the police deputy's mind.

With a soft, rarely heard curse, the young officer put on speed. He wasn't worried about the _track_; Enos had been racing these roads since he'd been able to sit up in a car. He'd spent many a youthful afternoon roaring through the fields and over the roads with the equally daring Duke cousins. Just because Enos had chosen to follow the way of the law didn't make him less of a driver. In fact, he was one of the best drivers in Hazzard County, even the Dukes said so.

All that expertise was his saving grace.

As Enos gunned the engine to catch up to the leaders, he was blind to the movement of the red stockcar's driver. The law enforcement officer never saw Elmer's car drop back to his side, actually allowing Cooter's green stockcar a temporary lead. In fact, Enos didn't become aware of Elmer until he felt the side of his own car slammed, momentarily losing control of the steering.

Eyes wide, Enos didn't even have the time to yell his horror. He merely grabbed the madly veering wheel and yanked back. Fortunately, Enos' long years of skill at reckless backwoods driving managed to help him instinctively avoid pulling too hard and sending his car into a spin or, heaven forbid, a flip. It also took split second precision timing and control to enable Enos to steer away from death's door, narrowly avoiding the wall that marked the end of the gravel road around the old pond. There was a wide swath of torn up gravel and dirt left behind as Enos managed to pull his stockcar back on the marked track of the race, over a relatively gentle field, providing the shaken officer a few seconds of recovery time.

Trying desperately to control the shaking in every limb of his body, Enos struggled to catch up to the other drivers, knowing he needed more speed but not yet able to control his body enough to coax it out of the abused car. Then, much to the officer's chagrin, Luke Duke, in the black Mustang, passed him, thus signaling that Enos was dead last.

-----

Balladeer: Well, I wouldn't feel too bad if'n I were Enos. Dead last is a whole hell'n a lot better'n dead.

-----

As the race left the road for the off-road portion of the race, it was quite apparent that Elmer wasn't going to give anyone a chance to pass him again. He revved his straining engine, fighting to regain the lead he'd lost to Cooter when he'd dropped back to eliminate Enos. So far, his attention hadn't settled on Luke, but that most likely wouldn't last.

The only remaining Duke left in the race was still being cautious. So far, the Mustang was purring like a baby cat, but it wouldn't be for long once he forced his way up to the lead and the dangerous machinations of Elmer Jenks. True, that man's car was running half in pieces after slamming and pushing his way to the lead, but Luke wasn't going to count on that car failing the race anytime soon. Elmer was just too crafty to let himself get disqualified legally and at only the halfway mark, too.

Engines revved, tired squealed, and transmissions hummed as the race tore through field and over dirt and mud. Cars jockeyed for position, staying the course, but not quite as steady as before. In fact, the few remaining drivers left in the race were too wary to get near the lead cars, hoping the old red stockcar would quit before another accident happened, especially one as bad as the General Lee had been in or as near-deadly as Enos's had been.

For his part, Cooter was too blinded by intense anger to really be overly cautious. So far Elmer had blown up a car in Emmy-Beth's face, run Bo off a cliff, sent Daisy into the pond, and nearly plastered Enos across the pond wall, not to mention the various drivers he'd forced out of the race with less near-lethal means. Cooter intended to take Elmer down, by hook or by crook, and that recklessness showed in his maniacal driving. The normally happy-go-lucky mechanic was all over the track, looking every bit as crazy as his handle suggested. Cooter's green stockcar was attempting to keep up with Elmer's red one for the lead position he'd so readily given up moments earlier. Unfortunately, the mechanic's near-blind rage was his downfall.

Keeping just ahead of Elmer, Cooter was too busy watching behind, making sure Elmer couldn't gain another advantage, to watch where they were going. He grinned at the frustration showing in his adversary's face. The sudden satisfied grin splitting Elmer's handsome features, though, confused the enraged mechanic, and it took more time than Cooter had to realize just why. He'd been so distracted watching Elmer that he'd forgotten to watch the track. His startled eyes took in the ditch and the rocky cliff-side before him, his reflexes unable to made the hairpin turn at the crazy speed he'd been keeping up.

With a yell from the startled driver, the green stockcar hurtled into the ditch, flipping up and back, slamming against the cliff-side.

Going at the speed they were, the remaining cars in the race could only skid past, no one able to maneuver into a stop without risking a second car ramming him from behind. Luke swore as he passed the upside-down car, unable to see movement, and unable to stop to help. He couldn't risk getting in an accident with Enos behind him.

Fortunately, however, Enos could risk stopping, and he did. Being last in the race had its advantages. The police officer skidded his car sideways, barely avoiding colliding into the upturned stockcar. Without even bothering to shut down the car, the deputy slid out of the window of his car and threw himself towards the other car. He could smell gasoline, and there was a definite chance the car would blow into a raging inferno. Without pausing to thin, Enos slid down the ditch on his belly, reaching into the still rocking, leaking car, and grasped Cooter's harness. Then man was unconscious, blood spreading down his face from an unseen injury under his badly mutilated helmet. Enos slapped the harness release with a little prayer and felt instant relief as it sprang, the harness falling away. With a mighty tug, the smaller man drug the stockier-built mechanic from the stockcar, all too aware that he had little time to work.

The force of the car exploding knocked both men towards Enos's waiting car, sending the young officer hurtling a few feet further than the more heavily built Cooter. Without pause, ignoring the painful injuries, Enos flipped himself over a couple of times to put out any flames, then raced over to his friend. He flung handfuls of dirt on the other man, trying to smother the fire, and finally ended with throwing himself over Cooter's limp body, using his own hands and arms to bat out the small flames. It worked, and he finally sat back... finally checked to see if his friend even still breathed.

He did. Cooter's eyes flickered open and he groaned, then swore. Blinking rapidly, the man turned his head and saw the smokey, dirty cop seated next to him, tears running down a now mud-streaked face. With another groan, Cooter reached over and gripped Enos's hand tightly, surprising the officer with his strength. "Thanks, buddy!" Pulling himself to an achy sitting position, the mechanic looked over at his destroyed car and growled, "Let's get going, Enos. Elmer's gonna kill Luke if we don't stop him!"

Enos blinked in shock, but pulled himself to his feet and helped Cooter to his, making their painful way towards his still running car.

-----

Balladeer: Now I know'd somethin's wrong with Elmer; he done tried to kill half the people in the race. Oh, I sure hope Luke's okay; there's no tellin' what a rangy polecat like Elmer's got in store for him.

-----

The roar of engines sounded nearby and the crowd suddenly sat up and took notice. The race was coming to an and, but it was quite apparent to the waiting crowd that there were only two engines coming. Somehow, everyone else had dropped, or been forced, from the race. All eyes stared intently at the road, waiting for the first glimpse of the two racers still competing. A cheer started up as the pair rounded the curve, but died in every throat as they noted that it was Elmer Jenks's beat up red stockcar in the lead, with the black Mustang following behind. Luke was apparently doing his best to catch up, to pass the deadly driver ahead of him, but he'd hung back too long, it seemed.

With a roar of his abused engine, however, another curve ball was thrown as Elmer spun his car before it could reach the finish line. He was blocking the way ahead, as if taunting Luke, and there was little reaction time for the younger driver. The crowd waited with baited breath, expecting the Duke boy to force the car into the trademark canyon leap he and his cousin so often used in a chase with law enforcement.

But there was nothing between Luke and Elmer to give the Mustang that needed lift. It required at least a mound of rock and dirt, a ramp even of the smallest height, to start the car in it's upward soar, and Luke didn't have that advantage as he hurtled toward the stockcar blocking the finish line. Instead, he was forced to jerk the wheel, sending the black car rushing in a new direction.

His maneuver didn't prevent the threat of collision, however, as Luke became horrifyingly aware that he was now headed directly for Jesse's pick up, a stunned Bo still sitting on top the cab hood. Luke forced his hands to lessen their grip; there was no time to change his direction, no way he could stop his momentum. Flexing his fingers across the leather-covered wheel in his hands, Luke Duke took the only option available to him: he sped up.

Too stunned to scream, acting on pure instinct, Daisy and Jesse pushed away from the farmer's cart in opposite directions, sprawling on the ground as they landed, bruised but alive out of the range of the deadly machine headed towards the pickup. Bo was just as quick to react, but he didn't dive out of the way. Rather, he threw himself into the bed of the truck, covering his cousin Emmy-Beth with his already battered body. If Luke hit the truck, it would mean death for them both, but Bo wasn't about to let his blinded cousin lie their without at least some small protection... even if his attempt to shelter her wouldn't by any means stop the hurtling vehicle coming straight for them.

Once more, in the few seconds it took to approach at his increasing speed, Luke flexed his fingers on the wheel. Then, with a rebel yell taught him from the cradle, the dark-haired man hit the gas full throttle, jerking the wheel as he hit the recently vacated farm cart. The cart crumpled under the weight of the car, but it had been enough, barely enough, to send the Mustang flying upward under the practiced expertise of the driver at the wheel. Luke didn't let himself think about his endangered relatives, especially blocking the memory of Bo flinging himself into the truck bed; he need every ounce of concentration to keep the car in its graceful arch, willing it to stay airborne as he attempted to clear his uncle's truck.

In the truck bed, face pressed close to his cousin's, eyes squeezed shut in furtive prayer that Luke'd make it, Bo could smell the under carriage of the Mustang, could feel the searing heat of the car as it passed within inches of them both. Then, it was over with the sound of a loud thumping and a squealing. Opening terrified blue eyes, Bo pushed himself hurriedly to his hands and knees, peering in the direction Luke had flown. That farm cart might not have provided much lift before collapsing, but it had been enough, barely, to allow his older cousin to clear the truck and land on the other side. Unable to resist, Bo let out a joyful yip, waving his arm in triumph behind his cousin's back, amid sudden cheers and applause from the previously horrified onlookers. Bo pulled Emmy-Beth from the truck bed, despite her injuries, and left her standing there as he ran to check his Uncle Jesse nearby.

The relief was short lived as Elmer revved his engine and moved his red stockcar to cut off Luke's return. This time, Luke was forced towards a line of cars, parked willy-nilly along the vast gravel-lined parking lot. There was no handy farm cart to enable another impressive jump, and Luke was forced towards the cars at deadly speed. Seeing his opening, knowing it, again, would take split-second timing, Luke hit a largish rock marking the boundary of the racing track. The Mustang surged onto two wheels, still heading towards the waiting cars as people screamed and dove out of the way. Still going at full tilt, Luke maneuvered the precarious vehicle between two trucks, scraping the top of the Mustang, against one, but managing to keep it balanced until it made its way completely through the barrier.

A bit disoriented, unsure which way he was supposed to be going and from which direction Elmer might come at him, Luke slowed the racing car down, heading inadvertently away from the finish line. It didn't matter, however, if he was winning or losing, as Elmer again came racing out of seemingly nowhere to cut Luke off. This time, there was no choice but to hit the brakes or wind up splattered across Elmer's red car.

He knew it would wreak havoc on the transmission, but Luke couldn't risk it. The man might rush him at any time. So, Luke did the only thing he could think of, aside from stopping and making himself a target. He slammed the car into reverse, hearing it grind and protest loudly. But the well-tuned machine obeyed, and sent Luke hurtling backwards, unknowingly crossing the finish line before the abused Mustang gave out and the engine cut.

Luke didn't even wait for the machine to stop moving; he threw his self from the car as Elmer surged forward, trying to run him down. Another car, suddenly, hurtled into the action, speeding into Elmer's path. Two men dove from either window as Elmer's car slammed into the recognizable form of Enos's stockcar. The three men hurriedly picked themselves up as Elmer threw himself out of his own now hopelessly destroyed vehicle.

Everyone expected the enraged Elmer to attack Luke, or at the least Enos or Cooter for their interference, but he stunned them all. With a scream of pure anger, the man hurled himself directly at the unsuspecting Emmy-Beth. Boss Hogg, standing near the young woman, surprised even himself as he pushed the woman across the road and out of the way, right into Luke's arms. Luke, for his part, didn't stop to think; he threw Emmy-Beth to the ground, covering her protectively with his body, waiting for the blows that were sure to come from the enraged Elmer.

Cooter screamed in equal rage, throwing himself at the attacking man. As his fist met the handsome man's nose, he yelled, "Why you son of a..." the roar of the crowd covered what he was about to say. He only got a couple of hard slams in before he was being pulled from Elmer by the combined might of Enos and Roscoe.

Luke, realizing there would be no attack, slowly sat up, bringing the trembling, clutching, crying woman with him.

Before he could crawl away, Elmer found himself thrust hard back onto the ground, straddled by a very angry Daisy Duke. She had a wrench in her hand and her other hand at his throat. In a low, angry voice, the woman growled out, "Don't even think about it, Sugar!"

-----

Balladeer: Well, Elmer was arrested right there. And after the hoo-haa calmed a bit, Boss had to admit that Luke Duke had won that there race. He tried to protest that driving backwards weren't in the rules, but the crowd was so mad about Elmer, in the end he had to off the five hundred dollars to Luke or risk a lynching on the spot. Luke turned around and offered all the money to Cousin Emmy-Beth, but she wouldn't have it. She insisted the agreement had been for half. Luke pointed out that she'd been hurt and needed the cash, but she put her foot down. It looked like a feud might break out, but Jesse stepped in and told Luke to take the money so's he wouldn't insult their cousin. Luke turned around and gave the money to Bo to help pay for repairs to the General.

And that there's the story of how them Duke's survived the first, and last, Annual Hazzard County On-Road-Off-Road Cross Country Race. See y'all next time.

FIN


End file.
